Where do I start.

It been a while since I blogged. Quite a bit has happened since then. I have lots of ground to cover. I'm not really sure how to make it flow correctly so basically I'm going to just throw a bunch of crap out there...We had Thanksgiving. It was at my condo this year. Us cats are not good enough for humans to have around for Thanksgiving, so the neighborhood cats just have our own. It's become a tradition of ours. We just get together eat turkey, drink wine and watch football like everybody else. When you mix cats with wine and turkey we should really call it Napapaloza or something. Anyway, for the 6th year in a row, when carving the turkey Carty made an inappropriate dark meat joke. For the 2nd year in a row it involved the Kardashian sisters. When everybody called him out on it he swore it was the first time he used the Kardashian sisters and last year was Eva Longoria. The consensus was that he used the Kardashian sisters for the 2nd year in a row. Before we ate we said a prayer which is fine. But every year one of the women wants to go around and have everybody say what they are thankful for. When this is brought up all the guys all sigh a little bit which because none of us know what to say. Most of use just copy what one of the other guys say. Plus, they always mute the football game during this and delays eating by ten minutes...My buddy Chico was there. You might remember him from my Cinco de Mayo blog. He is Mexican so naturally him and his wife have had 4 litters if kids. I don't even think he is sure how many kids he has. Most of his latest litter was bumping around my place, heightening my disdain for children. I bring this up because Chico and his wife Lupe were a little down this year, because their son Paco(He is in the Air Force. Pictured in uniform) just shipped out for another tour in Afghanistan. What can a cat possibly do in the military you ask? He keeps birds off the end of runways. If you think that is un-important, ask those people on that US Air flight that "landed" in the Hudson river last year. He also keeps vermin away from the mess hall and helps out maintaining the computer networks when he has time. Plus, if a lizard can sell auto insurance a cat can sure as hell serve in the military.

A while after dinner Carty and some friends went out on the patio to smoke cigars. If there has been a bigger douche bag activity invented in the last 15 years I don't know what it is. They all light up and start talking about the quality and taste of various cigars. I've smoked around a dozen cigars (I'll try anything 12 times} and they all tasted like I was making out with an ashtray. Why anybody would pay more for one cigar over another is beyond me. They were talking about how Arturo Fuente cigars have an "oakey" flavor to it. Now Carty has eaten just about everything possible, so I can see how he would know what an oak tree taste like. But everybody else? What does Mahogony taste like? Is there a particle board flavored cigar? I would lump wine connoisseurs in this also. I mean, I love wine and all. But they all pretty much taste the same. A $300 Cabernet from some specialty store does taste better than the $3 bottle from Walgreens. But not 300 times better. I think wines should be rated on how horny they make your wife/girlfriend. It would be much more helpful then telling be it has hints of raspberry with with a plum finish, I can tell you that much.

Can we stop treating Tiger Woods like the worst person in the world? So he banged some floozies. Big deal. His soon to be 1/2 a billionaires ex-wife will get over it! Trust me. Unless you are a billionaire that turns down every women that throws them self at you, I think you should spare the judgment.

My Mama's business, ArtJewelsandTreasuresByJen is officially no more. They closed their doors a couple weeks ago. It turns out Carty was the soul of the business and when he stepped down the company was rudderless.

I had to go the vet about a week and a half ago. I made some funny meows when I was taking a whiz. Hey, I'm getting old. When you get into your fifties you are going to make some funny sounds when you are taking a piss too. I told her it was nothing to worry about. But she insisted that I go. When I got there, everybody time a one of the staff members would see me they would ask me where Carty is and if he is OK. None of them asked how I was doing? Or why I was even there? The didn't find anything. The did somehow decide that I have some anger issues. Not sure how they came to that conclusion. They wanted to put me on some medication. I was like hell no! I don't have any f****N anger issues!! After some debate I agreed to a couple counseling sessions with a therapist. Rather then meds. I don't think I need the help but I've always had a hypothesis that therapist are full of shit and I just want to test out my theory. I had my first appointment this week. So far my theory is holding true.

I'm getting fired up for Christmas. But a couple things are pissing me off. If you are one of those people that gets really upset because a business/school or some other entity has a sign that says Happy Holidays not Merry Christmas or vice versa you really need to direct you anger at something more constructive. At least that is what my therapist says. I think they need to be kicked in the balls personally. If you are one of the ones that gets pissed off that a sign says Happy Holidays rather then Merry Christmas, please realize everybody does not think exactly like you. And most of all non-Christians buy gifts to(If you read the history of Christmas, it has been a more secular holiday than most Christian would care to admit). So naturally stores in areas where there is a significant non-Christian population they don't want their customers to feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, if you are Jewish, Arab, Atheist, whatever and you get pissed because your company calls it's party a Christmas party rather than a holiday party. Realize, you are out numbered!! Deal with it!

Finally, I was listening to the lyrics of "Rudolph the Rednose Raindeer" and I realized why have the other raindeer gotten a free pass through all these years. They openly discriminated against Rudolph just because he had a very shiny nose? What a bunch of assholes! They would verbally abuse him and bar him from playing reindeer games because he nose was bright red? I sounds to me that Donner, Blitzen and company were a bunch of superficial pricks. They didn't accept him till he bailed them out. Then they "loved" him. Where was Santa through all this? He had to know this was going on. He just allowed the other raindeer treat Rudolph like shit? Rudolph could have easily sued for workplace discrimination. I give a ton of credit to Rudolph. Would you have blamed the guy if he just told Santa and the other reindeer to just piss off on that foggy Christmas Eve? I think we all owe a large debt to Rudolph saving Christmas that year and handling this blatant injustice with such dignity.