The Forgotten Cat

I had a rough night last night. I went into my Mama's garage cleaning my miniature golf clubs. It was around 9:00ish. About 9:45 I heard the door to get back into the house lock. Oh, crap. She forgot about me. Surely my Dad would remember that I was in here and would come get me before they went to bed. Boy was I wrong. From inside the house I can hop on the kitchen counter, that is about the height of the doorknob and I can let my self into the garage. But getting back in is a different story. I can't reach the doorknob. On my way in I holler out "I'm going into the garage"! Then when I want to get back in, I scratch at the door and get let back in. Not tonight. They went to bed. I did a couple token scratches at the door around 10:15, nothing. 10:30 comes to pass, 10:45. I'm staring at the floor, board to death. Getting hungry, really thirsty. Come 11pm I already feel like Andy Dufrene from Shawshank Redemption had to spend a week in the hole. 11:15 I took matters into my paws, we'll sort of. I basically just started scratching the shit out the door and yelling at the top of my lungs. Something like this, "Hey!!! Hey!!!! It's me! Your freaking cat!!! Remember!!! Wake up you idiots!!! Open the freakin door!!! I'm hungry!!!!! I'm gonna piss on your cars if you don't open the door!!! Open the damn door!!!! F#@ken meooowwww!!!!! Finally, roughly 11:30 my Dad heard me. He was like was that you? I was like "No you freakin idiot, It was Santa Clause. Mama, wake up. Make me something to eat!!! So that was my lovely evening. Thanks for letting me vent.

Facebook: It's not just for pre-teens and pedofiles anymore.

I think that should be their new marketing slogan. It's true. Regular folks now have Facebook(or My Space) pages. I checked it out a couple years ago. It was chalk full of middle school kids and middle aged sickos pretending to be middle school kids. Now people that actually earn incomes have Facebook pages. Since I have blog, I can't really criticize. Like us bloggers they figured out its a great way to express you meaningless opinions and pretend you're more important than you really are. Girl's have figured out it's another medium in which they can make backhanded compliments to each other and have some spirited passive aggressive competition with each other. You know, like who can have their most friends in their network. Who can make them self look most like a Penthouse Pet in their photo. You ladies know that your Mom, co-workers, neighbors, pastor etc. can all access these photo's right? Please, I need a female that's on Facebook explain to me what it is about the site that makes you post a picture of yourself and two or three other friends giving weird signs with your hands while standing in front of a Chili's restaurant with your boobs pressed up to your chin. With all these females on the site, of course it's attracted plenty of males that see it as an optimal place to stalk..err, I mean network with their ex-girlfriends......This brings me to another thing. I'm hesitant to bring it up because it's a little embarrassing. This whole Twitter thing has just gotten really big. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but in short it's just people posting/texting everyone whatever they a doing at a given moment. When ever somebody does this this they call it "tweeting" or somebody will tell somebody else that they just sent a couple "tweets". I bring this up because when I was a baby the first nickname my Mama gave me was "Sweetpea". Saying the entire word "Sweetpea" quickly became too much of a task for her so she shortened it up to just "Sweets". Then not long after that, enunciating the S at the beginning for "Sweets" became to difficult and somehow got replace with a T. So since I've been about a year old my Mama's nickname for me has been "Tweets". Which was OK for till I was about two. But as I mentioned in my last blog I'm now 44 years old in cat years. Maybe 45 by now. Anyway, it's pretty embarrassing to have your Mom call you Tweets when you're 45 years old. She even does it in public. It's pretty humiliating. Now it's even worse. With all this Tweeting going on I'm constantly reminded of my childhood nickname that I somehow never shook. If you don't think it's that bad imagine your Mom still referring to you as your nickname from when you were 2 years old. Then you'll know how I feel.