Week of Bon Day 7:Finally Done

There I did it. Blogged for seven days in a row. It wasn't that hard. I have to be quick. I can barely stay awake. My Mama was hogging my computer. Her computer has a virus, so she has been using mine all night. She finally opened up a Facebook account. And she is going back to school. She is at least attempting to get enrolled at CSN. Facebook and school? My Mama is just a case of acne and two bra cup sizes from being a teenager again. Thank You, I was here all week....Anyway you can find her on Facebook now. You can try to be her friend. She's not very friendly though so don't be surprised if she tells you to piss off. Good luck.

Week of Bon Day 6: Get Off My Lawn.

I was trying to get some reading done late this morning and some punk teenagers were skateboarding on my Mama's drive way. I tried to ignore it as first. Then I just couldn't take it anymore. I went to my Mama's opened a second story window and yelled "Hey Tony Hawk, go shit in your own back yard"! Then one of them flipped me off. Then I was like "Get the hell out of here"! Then they shot back with "What are you going to do? You're just a little freakin cat." That set me off. I put my claws against the screen. And said "A little Cat? I'll go Gran Torino on you bastards!!! Where the hell are your parents? They can't have a job. That would mean they would have some sense of responsibility. Which means they wouldn't have raised you freakin losers"!!! Then the neighbors started to come out and peaking out of their windows. Yes, we have neighbors now. We used to be surrounded by foreclosure homes. Now there at least being rented out, It's been surprising. They left when people started looking. I stayed staring out the window. They tried to sneak back but they would see me in the window. Doing my Clint Eastwood pointed gun thing. I loved "Gran Torino" if can't already tell. I think we all kinda wish we could be like his character in that movie. Not necessarily a bitter racist, but more of a person/cat that just tells everyone what we really think, consequences be damned. Now that I've cooled off I'm kind of regretting it. These punks will probably come vandalize the house or something. It's not really worth it. I should listened to my IPOD loud enough to cover up their sound. Now, I'll be standing watch at the window for who knows how long. This will probably be the last time I impersonate a Clint Eastwood character.

Week of Bon Day 5:My Weekend

I hung out with my Mama Saturday morning. It's a tradition of ours. I go over to her house and we have some coffee. A light breakfast. Usually some pie or something bad for us. We'll talk about how our week went. How we should spend the weekend doing something productive but knowing we are not. We talked to Cindy about Mister passing a way. A bummer, but death is part of life I guess. I went back to my place for a while before I met my Dad at the Red Rock Casino to bet a few horse races. I think we are the two worst avid horse players in the world. Sure we win every now and then, you do it enough your bound to stumble into a few winners, but we've been exceptionally cold this summer. It's still a great time. That's why we keep going back. Plus, gamblers are externally the biggest pessimist in the world, but internally the most optimistic. Ask a gambler how they are doing and you'll never get a positive answer. But inside we keep going back because today might be the day we hit the big one. Anyway, my Dad gets annoyed when I'm at the sportsbook with him because all the cocktail waitresses like to come up to me and pet me all the time. Despite my inability to pick a winning racehorse I'm the envy of the sportsbook. After that, I went home and had a quiet evening alone watching the NASCAR race....Today I went out and played 36 holes of miniature golf. I've taken my game to a new level this summer. If there we're a professional senior tour for cat's playing miniature golf I would be on it. I got home and tried to watch TV. Nothing on. Football starts and three weeks and I'm going through major withdrawals right now. Time can't go by fast enough. This time of year always seems to drag. Not only I'm I waiting for football, I'm waiting for the temperatures to cool down. My power bill was through the roof this month. I might have to pick up a 2nd job. Wait, I don't have a 1st job. I might have to get a job to pay my power bill this month. I spent the rest of the day looking for schemes to for extra cash. If anybody has any idea let me know. No pyramid schemes though. AmWay only works for Mormon's.

Week of Bon Day 4: In Memory of Mister

After a brave battle with cancer my friend Mister was put down today. Or you could say he met The Big E, as us cats call it. He was Cindy Dean's cat. He was a great guy and will be missed.

Week of Bon Day 3:I still don't know what I'm going to blog about today.

It doesn't bode well for the rest of the week that I can't think of anything to blog about. I'll just talk about what I did today. Today was pretty uneventful. I woke up. Took a nap. Has some coffee. Puked on the floor. Watched my Tivoed Real Housewives of Atlanta. Wow, if you want to see some self absorbed human beings you need to watch that show. You wouldn't think that putting the most unlikable people on the planet on one TV show would make for compelling television but it does. I think I took another nap after that. Then I went to my Mama's and took a nap on top of the scratching post I have there. Then I woke up and sprinted full speed back to my condo for no good reason. Then I did some research for my up coming fantasy football draft. Yes, ladies I play fantasy football. I know you find that irresistible in a cat. Is their anything sexier then a bunch of guys sitting around a table drinking beer and hollering out the names of young athletic men? I think not. I went back to my Mama's house. Carty was playing the guitar. My Mama got a acoustic guitar for her birthday. Predictably she hasn't even tried to play it. The high of purchasing it from the Home Shopping Network was good enough for her. My Dad tries but he is hideous. However, Carty is a freakin natural. Within a couple days he was playing the opening bars Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive". He woke us all up one morning when he was playing and singing "Cielito Lindo" in front of a window watching the sun come up. He says he may have found his calling now that he isn't "working". I hung out with Carty for a while. We had a light lunch and took a nap. My Mama got home. I told her she needs to clean up the puke on my floor. It's still there. My Mama watched the Home and Garden channel while I made sarcastic comments the whole time. My Dad got home. I told him to go clean up the puke on my floor. It's still there. I went back to my condo and took a nap. Carty sent me a text letting me know my Mama was making green chile chicken enchiladas. I went back to my Mama's and ate half my body weight in enchiladas. Now I'm back at my condo blogging. But after all that food I need a nap.

Week of Bon Day 2:How You Know a Restaurant Sucks

There are sorts of deals you can get at restaurants in Vegas these days. I get coupons left and right and a bunch or restaurants have specials. C.J's my favorite barbecue joint is trying to stave off bankruptcy by painting their windows car dealership style with the words "Free Beer". It got me to swing in. You have to spend $35 to get 2 free beers. I bought a couple extra pounds of brisket and brought it home for Carty to get me to $35 bucks. He thought I was just being thoughtful. He's still very naive. But since these deals are you there I've been eating out quite a bit lately. The downside of the deal is that you figure out why some restaurants have to resort to coupons and giveaways. It can be frustrating. Especially for a cat like me that loves food TV. I love Anthony Bourdain and Gordon Ramsey. If you don't know who they are you probably like eating at Taco Bell, Sizzler or God forbid TGI Friday's. If you are one of those people this blog isn't for you. I've watched all their shows and read their books. They make it seem very simple but more often than not restaurants screw it up. That's why most of them go out of business. There are few simple things to look out for. 1st is the menu size. If the menu has a 5 pages. A la the a fore mentioned TGI Friday's, the restaurant sucks. How can they be good at that many things? They make a great shrimp creole AND a great Thai chicken salad. Bullshit, they both suck. If you want a Thai chicken salad go to a Thai restaurant! If you want indigestion go to TGI Friday's. On a related note, if you eat at a place that specializes in something, never order against the grain. For instance Tony Roma's which calls it self "A place for Ribs" offers a couple fish selections on it's menu. Never, ever, ever order the fish in this type of situation. Once you put your order in the dishwasher has to run the swordfish fillet that has been in the freezer since the mid-90's through the rinse cycle just to get it defrosted. Generally you want to stay away from deep fried foods also. Oil is hard to get rid off. So restaurants don't do it as often as they should. Order something fried. Good chance it's been cooked in oil that has been around for a while. Next, I go into the bathroom at every place I eat. If it's filthy I get the hell out of there. If the bathroom is dirty what the hell do you think the kitchen looks like? I also avoid places that serve steamed vegetables. Sure it's quick, hard to screw up, great way to cover up that it was frozen 5 minuets ago. Mostly it's a sign of laziness. It's something just thrown on a plate just to say they gave you vegetables. If they treat the veggies that way. It's a good bet they treated the rest of you meal that way. Another sign of laziness. Individually wrapped pads of butter. Can you remember the last good restaurant you ate at with individually wrapped butter? It's a pain in the ass. You're starving, you want to eat your baked potato or panckes, but noooo. You have to unwrap your butter. And it's never the right temperature to have the right texture. If it's to warm, most of it sticks the wrapper and is a chore just to get on to your knife. Or it's frozen solid and you can't spread it properly on your pancakes or toast. Then you never have good place to put the wrapper. Why is this acceptable? When ever I order a baked potato and the server brings out wrapped butter, I'm like do I have to go back and chop my own chives too? Make my own bacon bits? Churn my own sour cream? Can you make eating a little more inconvenient for me? Sorry I'm ranting again but I just have utter contempt for wrapped butter. Now the little cups of whipped butter. That's the ticket. I would bathe in whipped butter if were socially acceptable. One final complaint. Any condiment with in reason should be at the table before the meal or brought to the table with it. Just last week I went to the Mexican joint in the Red Rock Casino. I ordered Tacos. They brought me the tacos but no salsa!!!! Who the hell eats tacos with no salsa? Salsa is implicit with the ordering tacos. Why do I have to ask? When I go to "Tacos De Mexico" they give me two kinds of salsa without me asking. They wait staff doesn't know a word of English and I get salsa. Ordering tacos and not getting salso is like ordering pizza and having it brought to you with no cheese. I tracked down the waiter and asked for salsa. Then he forgot! For the record I think people that eat ketchup with everything are pussies and should be kicked in the gut at every opportunity. But I know there are a bunch of you out there and you'll be able to empathise with me on this. Is there anything more annoying than staring at your food waiting for a brain dead waiter to bring you whatever condiment you can't possibly eat your food without? Personally I think individually wrapped butter pads are more annoying but it's pretty close. That's it for the Week of Bon Day 2. I don't have a freaking clue what I'm going to blog about tommorrow.

I'm Back!!

It's been a while since I've blogged. I've been busy working on some other projects. I've meant to blog but just kept putting if off and now it's been well over a month. Last night I went with my Mama and we watched Julie and Julia. Long story short Julie blogs everyday for a year. I've decided to see if I can blog everyday for week. I don't think I've blogged two days in a row, so this will be quite a challenge for me.
I'm calling it the "Week of Bon". I really don't have much to talk about. Not much has really happened on the home front. Since my last blog Michael Jackson died. It's not really topical anymore and it's been waaaay overdone on TV etc. But I do have some observations on the topic. It caught me as odd that so many people swept that last fifteen years or so under the rug. First of all the guy is just a plain weirdo. The guy looks like a wax statue at the Roswell Alien Museum! How can anybody take the guy seriously? Second, what about that little boys thing? When he died you just heard a bunch of tributes and everybody pretended that none of that ever happened. The Michael Jackson that everybody liked has been gone since 1987!! Why is everybody crying now? The guy has been a recluse for damn near two decades? His cultural relevance since then has been being a punch line for late night TV. What surprised me most was how upset African-Americans were about the who thing. I get he was black at one point and he had some sort of skin pigmentation thing going on that played a roll in him turning himself white, but he turned himself white!!! Did he have to straighten his afro? Did he have to get rid of his nose? Did he have to have white kids? For me this would be like Garfield going through numerous surgeries to make himself look like Odie. Then adopt two puppies. Then marry Lisa Marie Presley. Then start fondling puppies. In other words a complete betrayal. No way I would keep claiming the guy as my own.