Start spreading the news.

She's leaving today. We'll not today. But sometime this weekend. Who you ask? Cindy Dean. She got my Mama into blogging(at least for a brief period) which got me into blogging. So you can partially blame her for all this bullshit. Where is she going? New York, New York. She wants to be a part of it. We'll not right away, but eventually. She is taking a detour first. Her vagabond shoes have been longing to stray. So lets get right through the very heart of it. She is going to live in Turkey for a few months. Yes, I thought the same thing! Turkey? I was like, What? Was the Four Seasons Beirut booked up? Then she posted on her blog that Istanbul or Constantinople as I call it, is a modern city. Then my Auntie Shiloh said that Turkey is great. And she could see herself spending a few months there also. At first I took their word for it. Being that I've never been there myself. Who am I to say it's not? Then it dawned on me. Cindy lives in North Las Vegas and Shiloh lives in Moriarty, New Mexico. I have been to both of those places. If I lived in either one of those towns I would want to get the hell out of there too. Mogadishu, Somalia sounds like an appealing get away compared to either one of those shit holes. Sorry Cindy, I know Turkey is nice, but I'm not capable of writting a blog without talking shit. Cindy's moving to New York because her boyfriend lives there. I think she has other motives as well. I think she want's to wake up in a city that doesn't sleep. Some people have said Vegas is a 24 hour town. But I've been to the strip at 4am on a Tuesday. That place is snoring. Also, she hasn't made much art lately. I think in the back of her mind she knows NY is one of the art capitals of the world and It will act as a muse for her. Maybe, just maybe she can pull off something big in NYC. She can be queen of the hill. Top of the heap. A number one. So Cindy while your little town blues are melting away we'll be keeping tabs on you. I'm sure we'll find you on top of the list. I don't what list. I don't think Sinatra knew what list he was singing about either, but I'm sure you'll be number one. You're gonna make a brand new start of it in old New York. Just remember if you can make there you can make it anywhere. It's up to you. Best wishes.....Bon.

Happy Cinco De Mayo

Yes I know I'm writing this on the 6th. I was busy last night. My Dad is Mexican, so I guess I'm kind of half Mexican by proxy. No neither one of us has the Swine Flu at the present moment. Thanks for asking. I usually don't really celebrate Cinco De Mayo. Not that I don't want to celebrate my heritage but lets be honest just like St. Patty's Day it's just a reason get drunk. Also, the official reason for the holiday is a celebration of a war victory Mexico had over the French. Who hasn't has a war victory over the French? Personally I think they need to just invent another reason why we celebrate Cinco De Mayo. Nobody knows the real reason anyway. Humans in general are really stupid. How would they know that the who thing was made up. We should just say it's the day the Mexicans ran Hitler out of France for them because they felt bad about beating them at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Or the day the taco was invented. My Dad suggested it should be a celebration of the best thing to ever come out of Mexico. Salma Hayek's rack.


I would be down for pretty much anything beside just beating the French. Anyway, I didn't get my blog done last night because my cat buddy Chico gave me a ring. Chico's family is also Mexican, so he full Mexican by proxy. But not just your run of the mill Mexican, his family is like keep an eye out for La Migra Mexican. He called me up around 7:30pm and says "Come over were having a Cinco De Mayo party". I was like "Nah it's weekday, I can't really party tonight". Then he says "What? We're freakin cats! We don't have shit to do tomorrow. Beside you love drinking on weekdays. It's your way of sticking it to the man, remember?" Then I was like "Damn, your right! I'll be there in 15 minutes!" So Carty tagged along and we hung out with Chico and his family. It was a good time. Ate some mystery meat tacos and took a couple whacks at a pinata. We also drank some Bud Light. I bring this up because I want to clarify one thing. Mexicans generally don't drink Mexican beer. You rarely see a Mexican drinking a Corona. Mostly because it taste like horse piss. Read the bottle it's brewed at Juarez Downs. You put lime and salt in it because that's the only way to make it tolerable. Sorry to break it to you white people. If you think you're getting some sort of diverse cultural experience because you drink a Corona when you eat at Mexican restaurant, your fooling yourself. If you want to have a Mexican experience, go hammer shingles on a roof when it's 110 degrees outside. Finally, a couple months ago I listed some of my favorite contributions that African-American's have made to American culture that kind of go un-noticed. I decided to do the same for Mexican-American's. Like I did with African-American I'm going to leave out the obvious people that always get mentioned like Ceasar Chavez and.....we'll that's it. He's the only one the ever gets mentioned. Was he even Mexican-American or just Mexican? Anyway here is my top 10 list of the best contributions Mexican-American make to our culture. Number 1, they do all jobs nobody else want's to do. Really. They do. People complain that Mexican take all the jobs. Do any non-Mexicans apply to clean the toilets at the Travel Lodge? Or trim the hedges your lazy ass won't? Ok.......Number 2......ahhhh. Ok that's all I can think of.......I will post a picture of my two favorite Mexicans instead....Tomy Romo and Speedy Gonzales.