Bono predicts the world will end in 2011

It seems everybody is predicting the world is going to end in 2012 these days. Dead Mayans, Nostradamus, religious nuts, Hollywood movie producers etc. It's the new Y2K. At least from what I read. I wasn't alive in 1999-2000. I always found it ironic that most of the people that were making predictions about the world ending in 2000 were non-Christian. They saw a special relevance in that the earth rotated around the sun 2000 times since the approximate birth of someone that they believe lied about being the son of God or never existed at all? Anyway, when people start making predictions about things I just can't help my self, I have to chime in also. It can be football, horses, weather, just about anything. When people start predicting things, I have to make a bet also. By definition this isn't a bet I can really cash in on. But if I'm alive when it happens atlest I can have the tiny bit of satisfaction of being right as I die. I watch quite a bit of the History Channel. The should change the name of it to the End of Life on Earth Channel. They talk about it constantly. They have an endless loop of people predicting all sorts of catastrophes. Earthqukes, wars, famine, disease, things crashing into earth etc. Wow, they are really going out on the limb there. These things have been happening since the beginning of time!! I watched a special on the 1906 San Francisco earthquake. They had some scientist boldly stating that there is going to be another big earthquake in San Francisco someday. Thank you, Professor Obvious. What's your next prediction? the Cleveland Browns are going to suck again next year? This is one the biggest issues I have with the doom predictors. They never really give any specific information. And when they do give detail, it's always veiled in symbolism and kookie language that can be interpreted in many different ways. For instance, most of the the 2012 predictions are based on the calender of the ancient Mayans ending. But that's all it does is end. It doesn't really make any prediction about humanity ending. Maybe all it means is that some Mayan dude got tired of chiseling shit into a rock? The guy who made the so called prediction could have been the Miss Cleo of the Mayan world. We sure our giving them quite a bit of credibility for people without much of a track record of making predictions. Also, if they saw into the future why didn't they predict their own demise just a relatively short time later? Why do we give ancient cultures so much credit? You know they used to sacrifice their own children to try to make it rain so crops would grow right? So they built some freaking pyramids big whoop! They couldn't figure out indoor plumbing but they could see into the future?.....Then we have Nostradamus. All of his predictions seem to be verified posthumously. Some big event happens and people go back and read one of his quatrains with is usually a bunch of astrological gibberish, then say "Oh, here's where he predicted that". What also bothers me about Nostradamus is that he spent all his time predicting big historical events that happened years after his death. As a guy I don't buy this. If a guy had the ability to predict the future now, he would use it to predict the Super Bowl, stock market, which chick at the Club would be willing to bang him that night. He sure as hell wouldn't be predicting events that will happen hundreds of years after his own death. What's the point? I have a hard time believing guys from the 1500's were not just as greedy and horny as they are now... Most of the major religions all predict the end of humanity also. Most seem to take a similar position as Bible and say the it will happen "soon" and for some reason there are a bunch of trumpets, bowls and scrolls involved. Then we have good ole' Hollywood which has been capitalizing of this shit for years. Watching football and baseball I've been seen a bunch of commercials for the new "2012" movie. They show the world being turned up side down while John Cusak is trying to get the airport to escape. I have a hunch John Cusak somehow escapes the demise of life on earth. Of course millions will pay to go watch it. What a better way to cheer yourself up during a time of economic strife, war and flu epidemics then to go watch a movie about the end of world. Sounds like a great way to escape from the stress of life....With that said why do I predict 2011? I don't know. Seems as logical as any other time. It seems like a bolder prediction to call it sooner rather than later. I also put my money where my mouth is. I cashed out my 401k and other investments and I'm spending like crazy. I might not have enough to get me through 2010 much less 2011, so if we are still around in 2012, I have another prediction. I'll be hitting you up for a loan.

I'm back again.

I figured I did about 4 months worth of blogs in August based on my usual pace so I thought I would take some time off. Plus it's football season again. So my time has been occupied with that. Also, my Mama's computer had a virus. I don't what sites she's been looking at. Her and my Dad argued which one of them actually contracted the virus. I'm sure Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson had a similar argument at some point. It was a awkward situation for all. So she has been hogging my computer. She has a Facebook account now, so she thinks she's sooooo cool. Check it out if you already haven't done so. She should be announcing her latest hair brain scheme on there anytime now. She is going to be flipping dollhouses. Yes, she is planning, and I emphasize planning to fix up dilapidated dollhouses and sell them for a profit. I can't believe I'm saying this, but after all her other crazy ideas over the years this one kind of makes sense. Of course she conned my Dad in to financing it. Carty, is coming partially out of retirement to be a consultant. He was adamant that he was not going to take an official title with the new investment group. But like all consultants his qualifications are murky at best, he is charging huge fees and is not willing to have a shred of accountability for the results of whatever his suggestions might bring about the company. Pretty sweet gig. Anyway, she bought three houses this weekend. Predictability, the houses have not had a shred of work done on them and sit unattended as I type this, while my Mama watches "Under the Tuscan Sun" for the 15th time on cable; commercials and all despite having the DVD sitting right above the TV she is watching. It's going well so far.

Week of Bon Day 7:Finally Done

There I did it. Blogged for seven days in a row. It wasn't that hard. I have to be quick. I can barely stay awake. My Mama was hogging my computer. Her computer has a virus, so she has been using mine all night. She finally opened up a Facebook account. And she is going back to school. She is at least attempting to get enrolled at CSN. Facebook and school? My Mama is just a case of acne and two bra cup sizes from being a teenager again. Thank You, I was here all week....Anyway you can find her on Facebook now. You can try to be her friend. She's not very friendly though so don't be surprised if she tells you to piss off. Good luck.

Week of Bon Day 6: Get Off My Lawn.

I was trying to get some reading done late this morning and some punk teenagers were skateboarding on my Mama's drive way. I tried to ignore it as first. Then I just couldn't take it anymore. I went to my Mama's opened a second story window and yelled "Hey Tony Hawk, go shit in your own back yard"! Then one of them flipped me off. Then I was like "Get the hell out of here"! Then they shot back with "What are you going to do? You're just a little freakin cat." That set me off. I put my claws against the screen. And said "A little Cat? I'll go Gran Torino on you bastards!!! Where the hell are your parents? They can't have a job. That would mean they would have some sense of responsibility. Which means they wouldn't have raised you freakin losers"!!! Then the neighbors started to come out and peaking out of their windows. Yes, we have neighbors now. We used to be surrounded by foreclosure homes. Now there at least being rented out, It's been surprising. They left when people started looking. I stayed staring out the window. They tried to sneak back but they would see me in the window. Doing my Clint Eastwood pointed gun thing. I loved "Gran Torino" if can't already tell. I think we all kinda wish we could be like his character in that movie. Not necessarily a bitter racist, but more of a person/cat that just tells everyone what we really think, consequences be damned. Now that I've cooled off I'm kind of regretting it. These punks will probably come vandalize the house or something. It's not really worth it. I should listened to my IPOD loud enough to cover up their sound. Now, I'll be standing watch at the window for who knows how long. This will probably be the last time I impersonate a Clint Eastwood character.

Week of Bon Day 5:My Weekend

I hung out with my Mama Saturday morning. It's a tradition of ours. I go over to her house and we have some coffee. A light breakfast. Usually some pie or something bad for us. We'll talk about how our week went. How we should spend the weekend doing something productive but knowing we are not. We talked to Cindy about Mister passing a way. A bummer, but death is part of life I guess. I went back to my place for a while before I met my Dad at the Red Rock Casino to bet a few horse races. I think we are the two worst avid horse players in the world. Sure we win every now and then, you do it enough your bound to stumble into a few winners, but we've been exceptionally cold this summer. It's still a great time. That's why we keep going back. Plus, gamblers are externally the biggest pessimist in the world, but internally the most optimistic. Ask a gambler how they are doing and you'll never get a positive answer. But inside we keep going back because today might be the day we hit the big one. Anyway, my Dad gets annoyed when I'm at the sportsbook with him because all the cocktail waitresses like to come up to me and pet me all the time. Despite my inability to pick a winning racehorse I'm the envy of the sportsbook. After that, I went home and had a quiet evening alone watching the NASCAR race....Today I went out and played 36 holes of miniature golf. I've taken my game to a new level this summer. If there we're a professional senior tour for cat's playing miniature golf I would be on it. I got home and tried to watch TV. Nothing on. Football starts and three weeks and I'm going through major withdrawals right now. Time can't go by fast enough. This time of year always seems to drag. Not only I'm I waiting for football, I'm waiting for the temperatures to cool down. My power bill was through the roof this month. I might have to pick up a 2nd job. Wait, I don't have a 1st job. I might have to get a job to pay my power bill this month. I spent the rest of the day looking for schemes to for extra cash. If anybody has any idea let me know. No pyramid schemes though. AmWay only works for Mormon's.

Week of Bon Day 4: In Memory of Mister

After a brave battle with cancer my friend Mister was put down today. Or you could say he met The Big E, as us cats call it. He was Cindy Dean's cat. He was a great guy and will be missed.

Week of Bon Day 3:I still don't know what I'm going to blog about today.

It doesn't bode well for the rest of the week that I can't think of anything to blog about. I'll just talk about what I did today. Today was pretty uneventful. I woke up. Took a nap. Has some coffee. Puked on the floor. Watched my Tivoed Real Housewives of Atlanta. Wow, if you want to see some self absorbed human beings you need to watch that show. You wouldn't think that putting the most unlikable people on the planet on one TV show would make for compelling television but it does. I think I took another nap after that. Then I went to my Mama's and took a nap on top of the scratching post I have there. Then I woke up and sprinted full speed back to my condo for no good reason. Then I did some research for my up coming fantasy football draft. Yes, ladies I play fantasy football. I know you find that irresistible in a cat. Is their anything sexier then a bunch of guys sitting around a table drinking beer and hollering out the names of young athletic men? I think not. I went back to my Mama's house. Carty was playing the guitar. My Mama got a acoustic guitar for her birthday. Predictably she hasn't even tried to play it. The high of purchasing it from the Home Shopping Network was good enough for her. My Dad tries but he is hideous. However, Carty is a freakin natural. Within a couple days he was playing the opening bars Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive". He woke us all up one morning when he was playing and singing "Cielito Lindo" in front of a window watching the sun come up. He says he may have found his calling now that he isn't "working". I hung out with Carty for a while. We had a light lunch and took a nap. My Mama got home. I told her she needs to clean up the puke on my floor. It's still there. My Mama watched the Home and Garden channel while I made sarcastic comments the whole time. My Dad got home. I told him to go clean up the puke on my floor. It's still there. I went back to my condo and took a nap. Carty sent me a text letting me know my Mama was making green chile chicken enchiladas. I went back to my Mama's and ate half my body weight in enchiladas. Now I'm back at my condo blogging. But after all that food I need a nap.