It that time of year again! One week a year I become a Redneck Republican Southerner. This is the week. Why this week? NASCAR is town, that's why! If you can't get excited about watching good'ol boys driving in circles, we'll I reckon you need to move to Scandinavia or something. They have all sorts of festivities going on around town. I'll be at the race on Sunday. I'll be in section 103 row 14. Come by and shake my paw. You can't miss me. I'll be the cat sitting next to a 32oz. Budweiser tallboy with a straw in it and yelling at the drivers things like "put him in the wall!!", "you turn left you idiot, left!!", "Tony Stewart, you have bigger tits than my Mama!". I'm going all out on the Redneck thing too. I'll be wearing the snappy jacket above. I didn't think there were quite enough advertisements on the jacket, so being the enterprising feline that I am, I sold my own add space. It's at the tailor now getting decals added for Kitty Kaviar, IHOP, Glen Lerner & Associates, Albertson's Brand Vodka, Family Christian Bookstores, Cosmic Catnip and the Adult Video Superstore. Also when engaging in conversation with fellow honkies I'll openly question Jeff Gordon's sexuality. Conveniently blame the economy on Obama. Call Democrats socialist for the stimulus/bailing out the banks, but NEVER mention that the auto makers that sponsor all the cars we're watching were also bailed out or the fact we're perfectly OK with those bailouts. Best of all I'm thinking about packing heat....I hope to see you there.
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