I thought going to the vet was bad.

My Mama had to go to UMC Quick Care this week. When I say "quick" and "care", I say it holding sarcastic air quotations because the place really doesn't provide care nor is it done quickly. Due to confidentiality I can't tell you why she had to go. I was lucky enough to not have...ok you talked me into it. She had some scare tissue removed from her leg a couple weeks ago(from a Dr. she won't be going back to) and the suture holes from the procedure started to get infected. She went to get some antibiotics before it got worse. I was lucky enough to not have to go with her. But a couple years back my Dad had a horrid cough that wouldn't go away. So he gritted his teeth and went to UMC Quick Care. My Mama suggested I go with him to keep him company. Being my curious self I went. Big mistake. Really big mistake. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Since then I refer to UMC Quick Care as GFHH Slow Torture. The GFHH refers to God Forsaken Hell Hole. I would much rather go to my Vet than one of these "medical" facilities you humans subject your self too. Most cities have similar institutions. In Albuquerque most refer to it as an "Urgent" Care Facility. Given that it's not so urgent that 4 hour wait will kill you. I guess their supposed to be a hybrid between a normal Dr's office and emergency room. Anyway, when I went with my Dad, we walked in and the place was packed with people. There were not even enough seats in the waiting room. People had to stand and seats got filled as soon as people got called to see the Dr. It was a horrible scene. It was like the DMV, but the people were sick and more weird. Not to mention crying babies and screaming children. Within the first 30 seconds we were in there I looked up to my Dad and said "we need to get the f@#k out of here". He said "no, I can't take this cough any longer, I need medicine"! What a pussy. So we had to sign in at clip board thay have hanging on the wall with a germ infested pen attached to it. I can't imagine how filthy that pen is. Everyone in the facility has touched that thing. We waited for 1/2 hour before we even got to sit down! I had to sit on his lap while he was hacking up a lung the whole time. While you wait they do have a 1968 model 12 inch Panasonic television(the TV is older than the building!)and year old magazines that have been held, coughed on and sneezed on by every sick person that has come thorough the door in the last 12mos to keep you entertained. Yeah, like I'm going to read that. Fifty minuets in we get called up to the front desk to fill out paper work. My Dad is presented with yet another bacteria covered pen. The lady tells us to go back to our seat and wait to be called back. Our seat has been taken. Were standing up again. 1 hour later were called back. We sit in another little room for 15 minuets. Then a nurse comes in and takes his blood pressure, temperature and weighs him. During all this my Dad is constantly coughing. When the nurse is done weighing him she asked him what's wrong? After answering a couple more stupid questions were sent back to waiting room. No seats again. We finally get a seat. Then have to listen to some blabber mouth old lady, that thinks everyone is interested in her stories about her grand children. Sorry if I'm not as excited as you are about how your little Amber doesn't shit here pants anymore grand-ma, it is quite an accomplishment. But please, shut the hell up! 1 hour later were finally called back again. We wait 5 minutes in the little observation room. A nurse comes in with my Dad's charts and reads back the answers to the stupid questions asked by the previous nurse. Then says the doctor will be in shortly. The room has more crusty year old magazines. I choose to snoop around in all the little drawers and cabinets instead. 10 minutes later the Dr. finally comes in. He says some crap about how he has a virus and antibiotics won't help. That he's just going to have to wait to just get over the cough. We both explain he's had the cough for two weeks and given the overall experience of the day, if we don't walk out with a prescription for some drugs, he(the Dr.) may not be walking out of the building at all. He reluctantly gives us a prescription for antibiotics. Telling us it won't help. We go to the check out window. We're presented with yet another toxic pen. Finally were going home! My Dad takes his 1st round of antibiotics as soon as we get home. Less than 30 hours later his cough is completely gone.

FOOTBALL PICKS OF THE WEEK...LAST WEEK(3-2) SEASON(19-16-2)

OKLAHOMA -19.5 AT KANSAS ST.
BYU -23.5 VS UNLV
MISSOURI -22 VS COLORADO
OHIO ST +2 VS PENN ST.
PANTHERS -4.5 VS CARDINALS

BONO VS MAMA.....BONO LAST WK(5-8-1) SEASON(50-48-3) MAMA LAST WK(5-8-1) SEASON(46-52-3)

RAIDERS +7 AT RAVENS.....B-RAVENS......M-RAVENS
CHARGERS -3.5 AT SAINTS....B-CHARGERS....M-CHARGERS
CHEIFS +3 AT JETS.....B-JETS.....M-JETS
BILLS -1.5 AT MIAMI.....B-MIAMI....M-BILLS
BUCS +2.5 AT COWBOYS......B-BUCS.....M-BUCS
FALCONS +9 AT EAGLES......B-EAGLES.....M-EAGLES
RAMS +7 AT PATRIOTS.......B-PATRIOTS....M-PATRIOTS
CARDINALS +4.5 AT PANTHERS.....B-PANTHERS....M-CARDINALS
REDSKINS -8 AT LIONS......B-SKINS.....M-SKINS
BROWNS +7 AT JAGUARS.......B-JAGS.....M-JAGS
BENGALS +10 AT TEXANS.....B-BENGALS....M-BENGALS
GIANTS +2.5 AT STEELERS.....B-STEELERS....M-GIANTS
SEAHAWKS +5 AT 49ERS.......B-49ERS.....M-49ERS
COLTS +4 AT TITANS......B-TITANS.....M-TITANS