Man, It was hot this weekend.....

my Mama and Dad were washing their cars on Sunday afternoon. Yeah, I know! My Mama engaging in physical activity on a Sunday afternoon. I'm as surprised as you are. I was going to help them out. I can work magic with a shammy. Then I went outside and decided against it. It was freaking hot! I also remembered that I don't like to get my paws wet. Unless it's my own spit from me licking them. It also reminded me that this time of year sucks. It sucks for a bunch of reasons. I decided I would make a list. You know how I love making lists. This is Bono's top three reasons this time of year sucks list.
1. IT'S FREAKIN HOT. Yes, I know I already talked about it. But it's worth mentioning again. The fact that it going to be 105 degrees plus, everyday till sometime after Labor Day is a disturbing thought. Why did they build a city here? Why did I move here? I say we move the entire city to Monterey. They keep talking about us running out of water when Lake Mead drys up, so we have to conserve. If that's the case lets just move the city now. Are we really going to save enough water by not having grass in our yards? Sounds like we're just delaying the inevitable to me. We should just get a move on. Pack your shit folks. We need to find a place a little cooler and with water. Also, do we really need to have a weather report on the news? Anybody that's lived in Vegas for any amount of time knows it going to be hot everyday. Can we just use the weather time to get more information on the city's daily shooting or more stories on the chicks Gov. Gibbons has been banging? It would be much more interesting.

2. FIREWORKS. Who's idea was it to have fireworks for the 4th of July? I hate this tradition. I'm a cat and jumpy as all hell. I don't need a day with everyone from 18 months of age and up blowing shit up. Can't we just be happy with a bar-b-que and getting hammered? Do we really need to risk starting some body's home or business on fire? It happens every year! Let's not forget the chance of serious injury!!! Sounds like a blast to me!! Pun intended. I kind of give young kids a break on this. They don't know any better. But if you are 12 years of age or older and you like this crap you should be especially ashamed. Fire stations and emergency rooms have to be overstaffed because of you dip shits.

3. "BLOCKBUSTER" MOVIES: This garbage comes all through the summer. Is it to much to ask that somebody comes up with an original idea? Another Batman movie? Haven't the pube bearded, chubby comic book guys got their fill with the previous half dozen or so forgettable installments of this? Indiana Jones! I think he was chasing after his lost Social Security check in the most recent installment. Then we have Ironman. Robert Downey Jr. as a superhero? If he was in a movie about a druggie superhero called Cokefiend, I would buy it. But not as Ironman. Was Andy Dick not available for the role? In previous year's we've had Spiderman. Played by Toby McGwire. 1st of all, no way a guy named Toby can be a superhero. Then in Seabiscuit he played a jockey. How can the same guy play Spiderman and a jockey? My least favorite of all was the "Lord of the Rings" Trilogy. Appropriately made by Peter Jackson. The Grand Wizard of all pube bearded, chubby comic book guys (see photo below). I've never watched any of them. But I do know the premise was Elijah Wood saves the world. That pussy couldn't save a thing. Way to unbelievable for me to watch. I guess I'll have to keep going to hippie indie movie houses for the films I like. There was Catwoman. I guess that was pretty cool. I'm not into human chicks but I was somewhat aroused by Halle Berry dressed as a Cat. Meeeooow.